There are strange things done in the car park, son, by the men who strive to win
The respect of those who write strange prose and who subvert and woffle and spin;
Now the Ravenhill lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see
Was that night by the lake when we played for high stakes; and the demise of UFD.

Through the crowded tent lurched a man near spent, and he wore a rope belt tied real tight
He had the look of the lost; for it was at great cost he had crossed over the lake that night.
He looked like a man with a foot in the grave and scarcely the strength of a mouse,
Yet he asked for a coke as he slumped at the bar, and he called for drinks for the house.
There was none who could place the stranger's face, and we pondered on who he could be;
But we drank his health, and the last to drink …. was the skulking UFD.

Then the stranger turned, and his eyes they burned in a most peculiar way;
In a coonskin hat, soaking wet he sat, and I thought I saw him sway;
And his lips went in like a kind of grin, and he spoke, and his voice was calm,
Now "Boys," says he, "you don't know me, and none of you care a damn;
But I want to state, and my words are straight, and I'll bet my coke you’ll see,
That one of you is a hound of hell ….. and that one is UFD."

Then a cry went up, for in the midst of a sup, a large reptile slithered over the floor
And UFD made an attempt to flee, and made a desperate dash for the door.
But quick as flash, there was a terrible crash, for the stranger had stuck out his foot
And UFD went down and lay on the ground and stared at an unlaced boot.
Then the ‘gator grinned an evil grin and its eyes began to roll
Then it blinked at the lights and its jaws snapped shut and it swallowed UFD whole.

There are strange tales spun on the terrace, son, but the strangest it’s often been said
Recalls the events of a night when a wrong was put right and the terrible price that was paid.
For an insult writ, may be tholled for a bit, but the board has its own stern code
So take heed, my son, or you’ll be undone, by that man on the Ravenhill Road.