The Paddies turned plastic again as a second half blitz saw a resurgent Ulster through to a deserved bonus point win.

The first half was a battle of attrition as Irish fought to stay in the Heineken competition. A poor refereeing display with another somewhat liberal interpretation of the offside rule allowed Irish to impose their defensive game plan. Irish went ahead with a penalty. A Trimby try from a Humph cross kick put Ulster in the lead and you could feel the weight drop off the Ulster players shoulders. However a somewhat strange Hugo sin binning and an Irish penalty took us to halftime with Irish leading 5 - 6.

Shortly after the break a quick witted Humph and Cap'n Best decided that it would be easier to stroll over the line with the ball rather than risk a kick.

This move was last seen in 1978 in the infamous schools rugby match where Larne Grammar U14B XV beat the much vaunted Carrick Grammar 1st XV by 5 points to 3. The larger Carrick players were leading by 3 points to nil with two minutes to go when Larne were awarded a penalty. Samuel Wilson (Junior) of Gardenmore House (Lower) tapped the ball and ambled over for a try as the Carrick team tried to construct a human pyramid in front of the posts to block the kick that never came. The try was converted by Edward Carson of Drumalis House (Lower) to give Larne Grammar U14B their first win - and so started the rivalry between Larne and Carrick.

The resultant seven points put Ulster in charge. Humph stroked over another penalty and with a frenzied Neil "Animal" McMillan hunting down a tiring Irish defence to score a converted try Ulster were well on their way to a bonus point.

The Irish limited game plan of live on the offside line and counter attack from mistakes, ultimately, proved as ineffectual as their conceited coaches pre and post match posturing.

The formality of five points was completed by Steinlager who strolled over for the forth try with five minutes to go, Irish having had a disappointing Casey binned for losing too many lineouts.

The FRU Man of the Match goes to Neil "Animal" McMillan who put on a storming second half display.

A few weeks ago, at the Leinster game, the FRU were fortunate enough to bump into the charming Neil McMillan. During the course of our in depth interview it was suggested, after looking back over our pictures of various Ulster campaigns, that Neil had the largest head of all Ulster team members.

Neil rebutted this accusation and stated that his head was small in comparison to Bryan Young's. However the FRU decided to carry out a scientific comparison.

Aided and abetted by the delightful Fruettes, the FRU reporter asked Neil and Bryan to pose in an almost identical setting (see Figures 1 and 2). Using the unquestionable scientific medium of Photo shop the FRU Digital Technicians then transferred Neil's head to Bryan's body producing the grotesque deformed creature in Figure 3.

So there we have it, conclusive proof that Neil's head is bigger then Bryan's but is it bigger than Fitzy's? We'll find out at the Connacht game!

Competition Time.


How many Ulster players (past and present) are the Fruettes pictured with? Enter here.
Winner gets a week in Reading.