There was a point on Friday night when Ulster led Glasgow 13 – 3 and halftime loomed with just under 2 minutes to go. Ulster having scored their first try where back in their own half and conceded a penalty. 

Glasgow kicked it to make it a 7 point gap and the match looked less secure for the home team as the teams trooped off. Moral of this particular narrative is that Ulster tried to play rugby in their own half and were punished. By contrast Glasgow ‘Parked’ the ball in Ulster’s half and invited them to run back at them, a tactic Ulster gratefully obliged, with the result a winnable match was lost, stuttering lineout or not.   More ... (1242 words, 1 image)

Thanks to our in-depth investigations the FRU can x-clusively reveal that Declan Kidney has taken the x-traordinary step of cloning Ronan O’Gara for the 2011 World Cup.

Worried that O’Gara is in melt down since his catastrophic Lion’s tour, Kidney has finally decided that the time was right to reveal the clones to an astonished Irish rugby public.

The clones are currently being groomed for stardom by Irish Rugby fanatic Louis Walsh and it is thought his expert handling of the boys has taught the clones to cope with the inevitable media pressure, something that cell donor O’Gara could never do!

Forced to come clean Kidney told the FRU   More ... (371 words, 2 images)

Another week passes and we’re inundated with yet more questions from our readers. The Raven has given them the once over and here are his considered replies!

Dear FRU,

I enjoy working out in the gym, and indeed the results are starting to show. Unfortunately my team mates insist in playing hip hop beats, such as the appalling Flo Rida, while we’re working out.

Being a bit of an intellectual, I would prefer to “feel the burn” to some of The Classics.

How can I persuade my colleagues to give them a go?

Tom.   More ... (538 words, 1 image)

DEWI KEEPS HEAD UP WHILST OTHERS JAWS GO SLACK

Not quite ‘da missive massif’ Dewi is expecting but the sight on TV of him waving his Ulster flag at the Scarlets match and manfully keeping up appearances was a sobering reminder that fans are paying good money to travel to see the team play and offer support. That the team responded in such an abject manner is a further reminder that some work round the paddock is required during the summer recess.

This was a hard and brutal affair but in the end, with grit and determination and good old Ulster fortitude, we survived the five hour drive to Galway. The journey, from the warm tropical climate of the east coast to the barren wind blasted wasteland of the west, caused us to reflect on some of the epic trips of our playing days when we would visit the Ulster Rugby outposts of Monaghan and Cavan bringing our unique brand of sparkling rugby and girly magazines to the oppressed masses of the republic regime. In those days the sales of certain adult magazines was banned in the papal statelet so we’d stock up on our way down and exchange the well thumbed reading material for a bottle of Paddy’s Old Irish, after the game of course! Oh how the British Army border patrols used to laugh at our high jinks as we tried to slip quietly back into the north a little tired and emotional, but always ready to give them sound advice on how to catch terrorists!   More ... (754 words, 1 image)

The Original Kimble, Lifetime Chairman of the URSC, has hit back at the scurrilous accusations on this site regarding the draw for International Tickets at the recent Ulster Rugby Supporters Club Barbeque.

“Since taking over the URSC I have tried to bring the members into the 20^th Century never mind the 21^st. Over the last 18 months I have tried to bring youth through and develop local home grown talent to run functions such as ballots and prize draws and to provide entertainment on away trips as, after all, it does get boring looking at the same old beardy faces at every event.
  More ... (260 words, 1 image)