Australia 30 South Africa 13.

The Tri Nations took a massive leap forward in the entertainment stakes with the arrival of the young Australian side to the competition.

Without the all enveloping blanket of offside oppression from the All Blacks we were treated to an exciting game of attack and counter attack with the young Aussies coming out on top, running the Boks off their feet.

It was great to see players back themselves in 50:50 plays and with fast ball and open play the Aussie backs shone with Giteau, Cooper and O’Connor looking particularly impressive. However, impressive as the Australians were, the South African’s can count themselves unlucky, yet again, to be on the wrong side of a few refereeing decisions. Both sin bins, Fourie after 2 mins and Botha after 46,  were thoroughly deserved but by the same token Australia were fortunate not to lose the hugely impressive and influential Pocock to the bin for his repeated infringements. (As an aside I’m sure I detected a gleeful tone in the voices of the two New Zealand assistant referees as they instructed the hapless Clancy on each Bokke infringement.)

Having said that, the Australians were deserved winners and they did leave a few tries on the pitch as they butchered a couple of chances and they will need to be more clinical next week when the face the cynical All Blacks but I’m already hanging my hat on this young Aussie side for the World Cup so I’m sure they will do OK.

Ulster Alert.

It wasn’t a great game for either of Ulster’s Boks – neither had a disaster, but again neither were hugely impressive.

BJ was solid enough in the scrum and loose but it was a disappointing yellow card which took the shine of his game. Pienaar featured well at the start of the game but seemed to lose confidence when he went for a quick tap close to the line for a scrum infringement when another scrum was the call and he slid a few kicks wide when the Boks were starting to get back in the game.

I do expect to see them both in the starting line up on 21st August as they look for revenge over the All Blacks in Johannesburg, I just wonder if either will find their way over to Belfast for a flying visit in the intervening four weeks?

In the end I didn’t bother to go out to watch this one, just watched it online while I caught up on some web stuff and I think I made the right decision!

It was another boringly familiar Tri-Nations match, in a competition for which the participation of Argentina can’t come quickly enough, as New Zealand infringed their way to another comfortable win.

Once again an Irish referee, this time “The Best in the World” Alain Rolland, was overwhelmed with the pace of the infringements and from early on it was obvious who was going to win. Rolland made an early impact with his carding of Danie Rossouw, for having the audacity to “handbag” with the untouchable McCaw, a decision which appeared to have been made before kick-off and a decision that had even the supremely biased New Zealand commentators scratching their heads.

To be honest, my eye didn’t wander to the screen showing the rugby too often after that but I did notice a couple of side entries at rucks and two blatant overruns to take out defenders in the build-up to the All Blacks first try and that really was enough for me.

BJ Botha came on at half time and appeared to have another useful work out and Ruan Pienaar showed good organisation when he came on but it was all too little too late as the All Blacks closed out the game with a degree of comfort.

Next week sees Australia enter the competition when they take on the Boks in Brisbane – hopefully we’ll get a less predictable match!

I wandered round to the Eagle on Saturday morning to watch the opening Tri Nations fixture between New Zealand and South Africa in the hope of seeing some substantial game time for Ulster players BJ Botha and Ruan Pienaar.

BJ got a twenty minute run out and put in a reasonable performance in the scrum and a big performance in the loose, an area which he appears to have worked hard on over the last few years. Unfortunately with the game over to all intents and purposes it was a largely defensive performance, but he got round the pitch well and made his presence count.

Pienaar only came on in the closing minutes and I can’t recall him seeing the ball. I can’t help but feel that there is some unease between Pienaar and Peter de Villiers as Januarie was struggling throughout the game and de Villiers’ failure to bring on Pienaar earlier was mystifying to say the least. Don’t know what the problem is but I’d like to see Ulster’s latest recruit (allegedly) get substantial game time over the next eight weeks.

Despite some rave reviews on the All Blacks performance I thought the game was pretty much standard fare for the overhyped Tri Nations and typical of encounters between this pair. It all just reminded me of a one night stand, fast and furious with plenty of intensity and physicality but when it’s all over you feel just a little bit grubby.

I guess it’s something to do with the systematic cheating of the All Blacks, constantly off side and taking players out in front of the ball, and the over enthusiastic physicality of the Boks with Bakkies Botha and Butch James being cases in point. At the end of the day it was all too predictable and with Alan Lewis failing to control the breakdowns there was a degree of inevitability about the result with the All Blacks being given an almost unlimited supply of ball. It is alarming how much the results of these games depend on the performance of the officials.

At the moment I’m wondering if I’ll even bother to watch next week’s return game but I guess I’ll wait and see if any of the Ulster boys are going to get a bit more game time.

I’m even making up my own lyrics -   “Here’s a story of five lovely Bokkie, Who had come to ply their trade at Ravenhill” – but I’ll leave that sort of thing to Ballpark!

No, this piece is to be about a few rumours I heard over the weekend and how Ulster Rugby are going all out to make our five South African imports feel at home next season with some dramatic changes to the match day experience at Ravenhill.

Don’t worry, they haven’t ordered in a couple of thousand vuvuzelas (at least I hope not), but I do believe that they have commissioned a calypso band to add that little bit of sunshine to the Friday night experience! That should make those rain drenched evenings just fly by!

The new band will play a  mandatory four  choruses of “Stand Up for the Ulstermen” which will now have to be sung in English, Ulster Scots, Irish and Afrikaans so everyone feels included!

Further changes involve the food franchises, and it’s goodbye to the burger stands and hello to the braai as the Ulster public will be encouraged to arrive at Ravers a couple of hours early (well you’ll need to get there early to fit in all the choruses of Stand Up) and light up the braai’s which will be strategically placed throughout the ground.

Sound’s good, though I don’t think I’ll be able to fully enjoy my steaks and boerewors while chatting to a few bompies  for worrying about the 2nd Barrier Crew rooinek’s and Boys on Tour using a bit too much lighter fuel. I can just picture those flags going up in flames  and I bet they’ve spent all summer working on a big South African one!

The gourmet experience will be further enhanced by wandering biltong sellers who will sell the salty dried meat throughout the match. All will be washed down by pints of Windhoek, the popular Namibian beer! Hopefully it’ll sell at the same price as it does in South Africa and should prove quite popular at 80 pence a pint!

Unfortunately the deal to sign the Natal Sharks “Flasher Girls” cheerleader team is still in progress and appears to be the main reason why the Pienaar transfer has not yet been officially ratified!

First up sees Ulster at Ravenhill on Friday 13th August for a 7:30pm kick off against a rejuvenated Bath in a game which should be more challenging than last season’s Heineken Cup outings. It’ll be an interesting pointer to see how both teams have progressed since those somewhat freakish games!

Saturday 21st sees Ulster travel over to The Stoop for a, still to be confirmed, 3:00pm kick off against London Harlequins. Last season’s choice to play some pre-season overseas reaped immediate rewards so hopefully Ulster will claim a third away win on English soil with this one. This fixture has the added bonus in that Ireland Women take on England Women nearby on the Friday night in the opening round of the IRB Women’s World Cup so it could be a nice little two match trip – give me a shout if anyone fancies the Ireland England game!

Ulster return to Ravers the following Thursday 26th for an evening fixture against Leeds Carnegie who have made some shrewd summer signings as they look to consolidate their position in the Guinness Premiership.

All in all a good statement of intent from Ulster with two “Marque Names” there and a tough enough encounter against a gritty Leeds side.

More than likely we’ll be without BJ and Pienaar and maybe missing some of the Irish boys as well but I just can’t wait to get a look at Muller and Wannenburg so roll on the next six weeks!

It is acknowledged the rugby world over that playing the All Blacks is a generally tough assignment. Playing them in their own backyard even tougher and when you play them for all but the first 15 minutes with 14 players, hell just gets hotter. 

Add in a 10 minute spell with just 13 players on the pitch and you begin to wonder had the Irish players been practising sado masochism. Certainly if your thing is being whipped then those Irish boys took a hell of a whipping. 

I had messed up recording this game which inadvertently proved a godsend as I had only 60 minutes of play to fast forward when I got back from my outdoor activities on Saturday afternoon.

The French too were in victim mode being on the end of a bit of a whipping themselves though they had little in the way of excuse, playing the whole match with the full fifteen but inviting retribution by conceding a whopping 2 tries in the early minutes of the game. 

Can’t imagine what the validity of these end of season tours is when the players are clearly tired, looking for a holiday or in some instances a bit of sadism by virtue of a spanking by points. I’m finding it rather hard to work up some enthusiasm for these games, what with the good weather here in BJ’s absence, professional cycling in full swing and barbecue sausages to be burned.

Mind Dan Tuohy and Andrew Trimble may well disagree with me as both took their chances very well indeed. Outside of that there’s not much for me to report, though hopefully Henry will be given his chance on the next suicidal mission against the celebrating Maoris.

A Burger a Day Will not Keep the Irish Management  Away

Dan, aside from starring for Ireland over the last two weeks, has also been twittering boldly were others fear to go. He revealed whilst still embedded in Limerick that he was hoping to snaffle a few burgers or was it spare ribs, (can’t remember), whilst the Irish management were looking the other way. Obviously this piece of culinary theft from a self proclaimed barbecuist didn’t do him any harm and indeed it may be argued that barbecues may be the key to Dan’s immense fitness and power.

BJ meanwhile has been twittering away in a rather harmless manner, clearly saving his innermost thoughts for those nearest and dearest to him. I think I did glean a sliver of information from his twitter that the Cape Town, weather was not behaving itself, testimony no doubt to the theory that, if you complain about bad weather it will follow you around. One imagines our glorious June will fade to a distant memory the moment BJ sets boot under a welcoming and leaden Northern Ireland sky!

Pedigree Wannabe

Once again the grapevine outstrips the official announcement and news reaches us of the imminent signing of Pedigree Wannabee, a back row forward from the Blue Bulls and a player I know well from watching the Currie Cup. Though there is talk substance abuse, one would hope that UR’s masters of war will have assessed this foot soldier’s ability to perform and control himself off the field. I faithfully predict ‘X’ will not be coming to Ulster and that we will get in my opinion a Pedrigree buy instead.

Close Encounters of the Forgettable Kind

I was shopping last Friday afternoon in Forestside’s Sainsbury’s wine store and at the end of the queue with the latest World Cup footie beer offer clutched in my straining arms, I decided irrationally to check the price per litre.   I returned to the queue to find my traditional spot blocked by a women with a trolley full of shopping.  Waving her past, she quietly demurred and then exclaimed, “how are you?” I was mortified and mystified in equal measure, being unable to identify said women and spent the next 4 minutes in the queue passing small talk and desperately trying to recall who she might be and what was the connection.  The clue probably lay in her last comment about Ulster playing in Biarritz in the Heiny next season.  If she is one of the five readers of this column, apologies, I could not place you and for probably sounding as evasive as a spy caught photocopying a nuclear warhead design.

Chance encounters are nothing new of course, the difference being when you remember who it is you have bumped into.  A few years ago in France, it was Bastille night and prior to the fireworks display in St. Gilles I was browsing in the 10 Franc shop.  Suddenly I’d almost bumped into a large bearded figure whom I instantly recognised as a former teammate, big Frankie, synonymous with throwing battered sausages in a cafe in Ballyshannon whilst being entertained by Shannon RFC.  Having exchanged a few pleasantries we passed on like ships in the night.

The following year I found myself browsing once again in the now re-named 2 Euro shop in St. Gilles on Bastille night. My mind once again wandered back to last year’s chance meeting with big Frankie.  When I looked up from my reverie I was taken aback for there stood the big Frankie! “We can’t go on meeting like this,” I gasped. Frankie was his usual affable self and once again we passed like ships in the night. 

For a third year running I found myself in the 2 Euro shop in St. Gilles on Bastille night.  It was too much to expect the annual meeting with Frankie, but no, Frankie was desperately avoiding this town.

The Trains Have all Disconnected

The commentator on the Tour De Suisse was lamenting the disentregration of the trains at the front of the peleton as the cyclists hurtled towards the finish line in the 3^rd Stage of the race. The train did reform briefly with chief train proponents HT Columbia managing to form a resemblance of a team firing along at the head of the peloton. Sadly it all came a cropper when, with 50metres to the line, HTC’s chief sprinter and British cyclist Mark Cavendish took a fall at about 40mph and managed to bring a whole pack of bike riders down with him.   It was a cataclysmic moment, not the least because of the thought of raw flesh on tarmac at speeds, motorists would be proud of. Thankfully Cavendish survived being hit by three following bikes and lives to fight another day.  Sadly too I think I will have to wait till the Tour De France to see the re-emergence of the train. The train is when a team of cyclists form at the front of the peleton, usually with about 30km to the finish and proceed to stretch it by riding at a super fast speed, the idea being to bring your team sprinter to the finish line and win the stage.

Father’s Day, (UR version)

Before Pedigree Wannabee stole the headline, UR’s site was advocating A Father’s Day present, presumably for the benefit of some gullible mother or daughter.  Anyway they were backing this offer up with a photograph which showed Tom Court, (every mother’s favourite wannabee son) in ragin’ Bull mode. I was so scared by the photo that I didn’t see what was being offered as the Father’s Day giveaway. Perhaps I’ll be pleasantly surprised when Gillian produces a brand new Ulster hoodie as her Father’s Day gift. Talking of which she is on the cusp of her 21st birthday this Saturday. We will be celebrating with a quiet pizza in a secluded restaurant somewhere on the Lisburn Road.

As BJ Botha might say, “celebrate man, before I bring those long dark clouds back with me from Cape Town!”

It was a busy enough weekend on the rugby front with a host of past, present, future, maybe and maybe not Ulster players on show in the three games I watched between a spot of gardening and dreaded website upgrades.

We had players past, present, maybe and maybe not’s all on show for the Ireland game against the Baa Baa’s.

In the past category we had Ed O’D and the ubiquitous Mr Bowe who is quickly becoming the most popular Irish player of his generation. Cheered to the Turnip when he stepped onto the pitch I wondered if he would have got the same reception if he still plied his trade in the north, but then again they gave Malcolm O’Kelly a good ovation when he departed so maybe I’m underestimating the Turnips.

Ed on the other hand had a quiet enough game with little ovation, but at the end of the day that is what Ed is all about. What he does, he does well, working away in the boiler room with little fuss and his contribution is not recognised till they sit down with the video analysis. Hopefully he’ll eek out a cap or two on the Tour.

Tom Court, Chris Henry, Dan Tuohy, Paddy Wallace and Andrew Trimble represented our present players in the Baa Baa’s game.

With abysmal scrummaging prevailing until Court made his appearance he must be wondering what he has to do to dispose of the past it Horan and the useless Buckley who despite his try continued to under impress. Things will move up a notch in New Zealand and Oz and Court needs a full game against at least one – we’ll wait and see.

Tuohy and Henry both did well in my opinion showing up plenty around the field with Henry’s contribution immense throughout the 80 minutes. Thought Muldoon got the plaudits (ironically a few times as a case of mistaken identity for Tuohy) I think Chris will get the nod for starting at 6 in the New Zealand match. Tuohy once a gain showed his pace but he needs to be careful that he doesn’t slip into the utility player category rather than be regarded as an out and out 2nd row.

Paddy continued to look a class act with his ability to break the line and in the second half my mind did wander to picturing Bowe, Wallace and Trimble back in the harness for Ulster. (Steady ladies, that’s a metaphorical harness!) Trimble is surely the master of broken play running but it’s Bowe’s timing that would suit Paddy perfectly, capitalising on his breaks. Ah, what a strike force on the wings with Trimble and Bowe, both playing some great rugby at present – both still young enough for it to happen in a couple of years!

The maybe not’s made an appearance in good old XXX Rush and really it’s only his experience that Ulster are missing, but rumours abound that Ulster’s answer lies in one of the other Baa Baa’s back rows in the shape of Alan Quinlan. There surely can’t be a better and more refined cheat in world rugby! Seemingly he’s fallen out of favour not only with Ireland but also the Turnips and Ulster represent his best option for a final payday!

Saturday’s encounter between Wales and South Africa gave us the chance to have a look at a present and a maybe in the shape of BJ Botha and Ruan Pienaar and I was a little disappointed by both.

BJ appeared under pressure in the scrums, but he does possess the ability to fix the issues himself, which he did in due course; I’m just concerned that he lets them develop in the first place.

Pienaar came across as pretty subdued – looking like a player with a lot on his mind, ho-hum! He slotted his kicks and tackled well but I struggle to remember much more from his contribution. It would have been more interesting if he had started at 9 instead of 10. It will be fascinating to see where he starts in next months Tri Nations – his move to Ulster may depend on it – and as such I don’t expect any further announcements on this signing till after the marching season! Eek!

Saturday evening I sat down with my tasty salad, burnt to a crisp chicken and a few cans of John Smiths to take in Ireland’s performance in the U20 World Cup. Nevin Spence, James McKinney and Niall Annett, who all had good games in Ireland’s pulsating encounter with France, represented the future of Ulster and truth be told represented it pretty well. 

I must say Allen Clarke really has done a cracking job with this team who fought hard throughout and were unlucky not to snatch at least a draw right at the end.

Annett was the pick of the bunch with a tremendous game in set and loose, McKinney sparkled with some delightful touches and Spence put in a great defensive display in midfield.

The result leaves Ireland with a lot of work to do against England and hosts Argentina if they are to progress out of the “Group of Death” but I for one will be tuning in on Wednesday evening when they take on the juggernaut pack of the English!

Should keep me going nicely until the All Blacks!

1. Tap penalties were scrum halves run into a fat lazy prop and are given a lollipop by the ref and another 10metres for being ‘obstructed’. Obvious answer to this iniquity is to deem the ball in play the second it’s tapped.
2. Players who are shown close-up on TV spitting phlegm, it’s a football thing that is rapidly transferring to a sport played by supposed gentlemen. Can’t bear to think of being buried under a pile of bodies on top of spit. Ugh!
3. Lazy runners, mostly fat lazy props who think they’ll be given a fool’s pardon by the ref for being fat and lazy when in fact they are actually getting in the road of real athletes deliberately.
4. The stuffed toy from the pram that is George Hook and his fawning sidekick Tom McGurk. It’s pantomime time on RTE again, I’d almost forgotten what it was like until last Friday. Oddly George wasn’t huffing and puffing as much as usual but McGurk did try with the foot pump to inflate the bauble. The Pope in the middle was more marginalised than usual but odder still it was Conor O’Shea who was supplying the hot air. Can this really be what Minister Ryan wants with his free to air vision of rugby on these shores?
5. Hype – usually applies to a one-off performance from an English player at international level and is usually a kind of evaporating substance which disappears with close inspection and scrutiny. When there is a hype vacuum and the hypists are bereft of an English player to promote they will opt for a player from the GP of foreign extraction usually with names likes Schalk and Carlos. The same vanishing effect occurs when close scrutiny and prolonged hype is applied to said object.
6. Referees who smile a lot and talk away as if minding the kindergarten. They are usually called Tony Spreadbury and key characteristics are an usually clean set of molars, an ability to smile even when the situation is serious, an unshakeable belief that you are absolutely, totally, utterly correct and no amount of talking to me will make me change my mind one iota. The overall impression is one of a sinister wee white shark. I had a close-up vision of Tony once, following the infamous Toulouse game and we informed him as he crossed the car park, of Brennan’s dastardly act. Tony flashed that famous shark smile and you could see his mind tick over a thousand times whilst for once he was unusually reticent.
7. Football chants at a rugby match. – You know who you are, need I say more.
8. Teams who think they are god’s gift to rugby, usually called Stade or Hairsprays and usually cut a pathetic lot when caught red handed doing things they shouldn’t, such as playing with 16 men on the pitch and sticking fingers in players eyes, otherwise known as gouging.
9. IRB law lords who continue to tinker with the rules for their own mostly southern hemisphere agenda.
10. Laws made to be broken such as the put in to the scrum which is supposed to be straight but is in fact more crooked than an Alpine mountain track. A crooked feed to the scrum has all but eliminated the art of hooking. Other examples are the ineffectual policing of the back foot rule. Back foot now means a line drawn, roughly through the middle of the ruck.

Howls of The Dogs at Midnight Fall Silent

At the time of going to print the Rush saga had not reached it’s expected conclusion. Oddly the dogs in the farmyard had been a howling all night as if things were going on we should know about.

Interestingly the two key players, Ulster Rugby and ‘X’ have remained extremely tight lipped since the announcement of the signing way back in February. Were it not for the peripheral forces of media and internet traffic one would never believe anything at all was amiss. In the absence of an affirmative from either of the two main parties even the internet chatter has ground to a vacuous halt. The waiting game has begun, one would suspect ‘X’ is not coming to Ravenhill but sometimes one must expect the unexpected.

A Sunny Afternoon

With the rugby in all but a hiatus ones attention inevitably drifts elsewhere. Imagine a languid afternoon near the River Lagan on a solitary stretch of the Ormeau Embankment opposite the Ozone centre in Ormeau Park. Out on the still waters of the river just short of the McConnell Weir a small pontoon floats, surrounded by a number of high powered inflatables crammed with men in blazers and women in their best boating attire. A woman with a loud hailer and a flag bestrides the pontoon whilst two others lie on it horizontal, attempting to hold on to the octos (8 person rowing boats) manoeuvring for the start of the women’s annual university boat race twixt Queens and Trinity.

Ollie (my son) and me have just arrived to watch the start of the race and are making our way down a gangplank on the bank of the river to the pontoon moored below. As the sun bursts through the haze we can see a very tanned, almost elderly bloke standing on the pontoon with a young women’s arm around his waist and they are smiling towards another women who is attempting to photograph them. A third women stands slightly to the side of the trio looking slightly bored. All the women are sporting sunglasses and wear floral patterned frocks. Not wishing to intrude on this intimate scene, Ollie and myself tiptoe past and make our way to the rail to watch the pony tailed sun-visored amazons in the rowing boats start their race.

Unexpectedly we are distracted by the bored looking women, who is now standing at Ollie’s side and has spotted his Inst rowing jacket. She is enquiring if he was racing this morning.

“I was chucked off the boat yesterday,” replies Ollie, his disconsolation palpable.

“He crashed the boat in practice yesterday afternoon and got the sack,” I informed the women in rather uncharitable fashion and was about to tell her we had purchased 4 tickets to go and watch Ollie race and had then left them unused.

“That’s not ideal,” growled the woman, before our attention was drawn to the boats which suddenly set off, blades flashing in the afternoon sun.

“C’mon Queens,” shrieked the woman, whilst one of her companions behind us yelled, “Queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeens,”

With a twirl of her floral frock the woman and her companions were gone up the gangplank. As the octos followed by their flotilla of high powered inflatables stormed upriver, she had disappeared into the interior of a big black 4 x 4 which roared off along the embankment in a hail of diesel fumes. A green future could wait whilst the Carolines pursued their quarry up to the regatta enclosure. Sadly I can report that despite such enthusiastic support the Queens women’s eight failed to uphold the honour of the university.

A half hour later and Ollie and myself found ourselves wandering round the small tented enclosure at Queens PE centre. Inside the tent of scattered tables, a band played on doggedly to an audience of approximately 3, whilst a bored looking bar person busied themselves with mundane tasks to while away the time. Escaping this oasis of melancholy, music and sadness, we found ourselves standing at the railings at the side of the river about 30 metres from the tent. A small crowd had gathered in anticipation of the men’s boat race and to our left alongside many empty beer and Magner’s cider bottles, stood 3 casually but expensively dressed youths. A passing motorised inflatable with some officials on board received the finger from one of them and thankfully they left before the race began. Elsewhere various reasonably well dressed types stood around amongst the abandoned bottles of beer and cider and chatted amicably with one another.

Ollie reckons it’s about 2.5miles from the weir to the Queens boat club having rowed it a few times himself and eventually the announcer informed us the boats were off. I timed their appearance at the Ormeau bridge at about 2-3 minutes from when the start was announced. The Queen’s boat led by about two boat lengths, the blades swishing crisply through the water. A round of applause broke out as they passed our by now swollen crowd of 50 plus people.

As the applause died away so the boats were gone round the bend and that was it, for me anyway, a small glimpse in time into another world of boats, blades, crews, octos, dilettantes and of course the Carolines, all floral frocks and obligatory shades, one sunny afternoon in early June. Ollie is still getting over the trauma of being dropped on the eve of the RBAI/MCB showdown, but that is sport. Sometimes your chances are dependent on the wiles and wispy nature of coaches and in this instance a somewhat impetuous rowing master. For the record, after a day doing exams they went on the river for a last practice and Ollie’s boat crashed into another one due to a panicky oarsman. Ollie as cox took the rap as did the cox of another boat in his year who committed some other transgression, them being replaced by two lesser experienced pilots. I hope he doesn’t let it get to him and that he comes back next year, as he has potential but crashing the boat isn’t the best outcome for a cox who wants to do well.

Man in Pink Fails to Stay the Course

The Italian version of Le Tour De France, The Giro D’Italia, finished last week and as usual with anything involving the Italians it has its fair share of flamboyance and exotica. So were the French have the famous Maillot Jaune, the Italians have the leader of the race in a pink jersey. The pink jersey was held for nearly a week by a guy whose name I now forget, but whose jersey wasn’t the only thing pink. His bike was pink, his sunglasses, his helmet, his shoes, in fact just about everything on him was pink bar his suntan on the arms and face. After bravely hanging on to the penultimate stage of the race he eventually succumbed to the might of 2 Italian and a Spanish rider who combined to burn him off on one of the extreme hill stages of the Giro. The pink jersey and only the jersey eventually rested on the shoulders of the Italian star Ivan Basso.

All in pink reminded me of last year’s Tour De France, when an Italian rider took possession of the King of the Mountains jersey which is red polka dot on white. As he consolidated his position as King of the Mountains during the race so the polka dot look extended progressively to his helmet and by the time he had reached the winner’s podium in Paris everything was covered in polka dots. The crowning moment was on the winner’s podium when he appeared with his two young kids whom both sported mini me polka dot jerseys!

Other memorable moments from the Giro featured a time trial over about 12 kilometres which was essentially up a very steep hill and featured one rather elderly mechanic running behind his rider whilst pushing a spare bike up a very steep incline. The poor fella probably succumbed to a heart attack after featuring at the rear wheel of his rider for about a kilometre, because he disappeared off the TV screens as the commentators chortled savagely into their microphones at exertions of it all. Looking forward to the Le tour which starts early July.

That’s it for this week. Hope you enjoyed the little vignette by the Lagan, its all true and despite the good weather, Belfast was quiet when we visited the city centre early on Saturday afternoon. Perhaps the economic situation is taking its toll. The weather is certainly booming as B J Botha continues his safari. If he could let us know when he’s coming back, it will be time for us to get our raincoats out.

FRU the pint glass!

As the taste of pints lingers on the palette, not to mention the sweet smell of turkey and ham in gravy this fine Sunday morning, I have enough time to dwell on the end of season social swirl that no self respecting rugby tosser like me should miss.

The blue riband event and one for the bow ties, inductions and media photo shoots took place on Thursday night at the Ramada, (I think). Where despite my predictions to the contrary, Chris Henry scooped the major awards like a pelican scooping fish and accumulated a sack of silverware in the process.

Jack Kyle was inducted into the newly created Hall of Fame and is as fine an initiate as you could hope for to this most auspicious of institutions.

For those not connected in the manner of Chairman Kimble of the URSC, it was the alternative awards night on Friday to which we were invariably drawn.

Ably hosted, organised, compered and funded by the FRU’s owner, raconteur Dewi Barnes, this was the event to be seen at. Without a bow tie in sight and stripey shirts banned for this year by Mr. Barnes there were a preponderance of stripey shirts and not a bow tie in sight.

The zelig of the rugby social circuit, Mr. Kimble was in attendance with the trusty Secretary of the URSC Mr. Bill. Amiably quaffing wine and filled with the joys of a new era of perestroika in relations twixt supporters and that bastion of professional sport in Ulster, Ulster Rugby, Mr. Kimble could be seen ruminating in the best social rugby fashion.

The FRU event was this year held in the lofty confines of the 12^th floor Penthouse suite in the Europa, replete with candelabra, manicured tables, fine silverware and the omnipresent bar. FRU stalwarts were represented by HRH RR (that’s Ragin’ Raven, looking rather benign for the night!”), Glynn Commando, (with his underpants on, so he told us!), ole Flat Top, (dressed over the top compared to the rest of us), Dergman, (replete with heckling voice and gasp, stripey shirt!) and John E King, wearing a checkered shirt. (That’s one with vertical and horizontal stripes.) Indeed Mr. Barnes edict that no stripey shirts were to be worn would seemed to have been conspicuously ignored, not the least by himself when close inspection revealed a fine line running top to bottom at approximately 30mm centres on his upper body attire. Proceedings got underway at the bar as you would expect with the bar staff working overtime to keep supply lines running like a well oiled operation Barbarossa. The players were represented by second row duo, messers Tuohy and Mr. Ed. who later justifiably received an award for his services to Ulster Rugby, these last two seasons and a salutary round of applause.

Following an excellent dinner we were joined in the latter stages of dessert by members of the Pigdog crew who appeared to have taxied in from the salubrious realms of Shandon Park golf course. Finally the man (Dewi) stepped right up to the microphone. Well alright, he used his very own voice to announce the opening of the awards presentation. The awards gathered momentum with Andrew Trimble winning the premier player of the season award to Lanzarote for a week, despite it would seem some punters voting early and often in best Norn Iron election tradition. The ceremony was constantly interrupted by heckling from a neighbouring table which caused compere Mr. Barnes to frequently break mid stride and issue a riposte. The culprits were out of sight to me but sounded suspiciously like Dergman and John E king. (Who let them in?).

Indeed Dergman won an auspicious award for finishing so far down the Predictions League, there was speculation he had never participated in the first instance. Mr. Barnes will be updating the site later with the full list of winners and the odd loser. Of note was the worn track in the carpet from Stately Home’s seat up to the stage as he had to rouse himself several times to collect awards and seemed to be never off the winner’s podium. The evergreen Mr. Rab Irwin, Heineken Cup winning prop, received an evergreen award and here I somewhat tarnished my reputation as a know all by failing to recognise said Mr. Irwin, eliciting much derision from Messers Kimble and Bill. Alright, time will not age them and all that, but folk do grow older by a natural process called aging. It happens to the best of us. The evening ended with some social chat and a round of drinks before taking leave of what was an enjoyable event, well organised by the FRU and Mr. Barnes.

In the course of the evening there was much chit chat, some of which will obviously remain sacrosanct, twixt me and my interlocutor. Some conversations and nuggets of information can enter the public domain and I was not surprised to find Dergman is a fan of professional cycle racing like myself though he actually pedals a two wheeler unlike me. In fact if I picked him up right, I understand he plans to pedal some 200km round the Wicklow Mountains. I have cycled these particular hills though I had a 400cc engine under my seat, (Honda 4 for aficos), which made ascending the slopes rather easier than Dergman will find it. I will wish him well and hope he returns safely and in good mental and physical shape.

A rather large Pigdog prop was seated beside me for the latter part of the meal consuming some extra profiteroles that were proffered him. I apologise for not getting his name but he gave me something of a snapshot of rugby in Nova Scotia and Canada in general. It is heartening to hear the game has some roots in the schools there so hopefully from such small seeds there’ll grow a rugby nation in a few years time. There was just time to say goodbye to Mr. Ed and wish him well in his future career at Leinster. He was as ever magnanimity personified about it and I promised to keep an eye on his game in D4. I’ve no doubt he’ll prosper there as will our other exile I. Boss.

Kimbles social tour of the rugby bright lights comes to earth!

Saturday dawned, bright, warm and sunny. The extra warmth generated over these last few days can be almost solely attributed to that arbiter of weather, BJ Botha departing the country. No sooner had his plane soared into the ash laden skies than the clouds cleared, temperatures soared and I have no doubt Durban will degenerate into a stormy windy wet mess on his arrival, The supporters club barbecue was the last lap in the rugby social weekend and did not disappoint. With blue skies, humidity, a green sward out the window of Newforge and an accompanying crack of leather on willow it was time to sample the earthier delights of sausage, chicken and burger. We found a seat beside the wee lamb Goody, as opposed to the Ulster lamb found elsewhere in this blog. The part time owner of the Ulster lamb duly appeared in the company of messers Trimble, Tuohy, Henry and Best though I failed to spot Court who was scheduled to appear. I wrote in my last blog he was the invisible man of Irish rugby but this is ridiculous. TC is not known to like the sun, unlike yer average and cliché Aussie and may have preferred the shade of his veranda.

Being a founder member of FOD’s (That’s fans of Dan as opposed to FOE’s Fans of Ed’s) I thought I should make acquaintance and spent a good few minutes finding out what makes Dan Tuohy tick. With my searching questions I failed miserably to generate any deep resonating nuances in the physiological make–up of the man, but suffice to say he is keen to make acquaintance of the supporters and has time for them. I reminded him that a year ago he was playing for Exeter and in the short space of time since, he now finds himself on the verge of an Ireland cap. A meteoric rise and goes some way to disproving there is an anti Ulster bias in the Ireland management.

Isaac was minus the Ulster lamb but was as effervescent as ever, wearing a big smile, signing autographs, being good with the kids and hiding the disappointment of his departure from Ulster very well. He will be missed and it was a pity a presentation couldn’t have been made on behalf of the supporters to him as he has given us much to celebrate over the years he’s been here. Trimble was informed that he’d won the FRU player of the Year and was suitably impressed, if a little sceptical about the attempt to deny him his week in the sun of Lanzarote.

Holywood Mike made it to the event despite earlier doomed appeals for a lift and he was sunning himself, stripped to the torso. Thankfully Newforge is a secluded place and the neighbours weren’t treated for shock at the sight of Mke’s bare chest. In all 90 souls made it to the BBQ, no doubt encouraged by the sunny weather and at £5 a head, enticed by the low cost of the afternoon. I understand the URSC suffered a bit of a hit here but as I said yesterday, sometimes short term pain can have long term gain. I’m sure the ones that made it to the event weren’t disappointed and will have noted the URSC’s effort.

Chairman Kimble was by yesterday visibly flagging at the hectic pace of socialising having covered a marathon 3 rugby social calendar events in 3 days. Secretary Bill was still smiling and commandeered Dan ‘the man’ Tuohy to pluck the little numbers from the plastic bag for the draw. Wee lamb won a Brian O’Driscoll shirt and was suitably cheered up whilst the rest of our party went home empty handed, partly because I refused to participate in the ballot after last year’s fiasco.

A number of issues made themselves known by dint of repetition this year. They are not connected with anything the players have said I should make clear and indeed the players have been the soul of discretion, which is how it should be. Most talked about subject amongst supporters is Shane Logan and his appointment as CEO. Supporters I’ve talked to expressed their reservations about Shane’s ability and the fact his interview/CV wasn’t all it maybe was made out to be. For my part, I like the way he talks, it’s a positive if somewhat aspirational take on Ulster but after the last few years of negativity from MR re finances and various other issues it’s a welcome change. Whether the end result is much as the CEO forecasts is quite another matter. For my money, wodgey as it is, we are headed up the way, We cannot get much lower of course but the little things that make or break have been identified by the support and hopefully the coaching staff.

For me MR outstayed his welcome and in the end increased the staff resources whilst maintaining a demagogic grip on decision making which ultimately ensured he had no one else to blame except himself because he was king of all he surveyed. I count myself as someone who ‘knew’ MR in the loosest sense of the word and I wouldn’t for one moment wish to dish the dirt on someone who took Ulster Rugby on to a new level. I was surprised at some of the things said about his behaviour. Ultimately if you disenfranchise the supporters you have lost control of the show. MR lost control around the time he let McCall stay on 6 months longer than he should have. That is my opinion but one based I hope, on a reasonable assessment of UR from a supporter point of view. What Shane has done for my money is to raise morale whilst it is important to listen to nuances of what he says and realise that he is limited in what he can actually realise given the task he inherited. For now he will be judged on his ability to make changes and introduce new mood music amongst the support. For now he is succeeding in my opinion with positive signs including the proposed stadium redevelopment which will ensure the close rapport twixt spectator and player will be maintained with terracing all around the pitch.

The Ulster Lamb

There is a renewed twist in the tale of Isaac’s little lamb which you will remember from last week was being cosseted in Hugo’s back garden surrounded by railway sleepers. I am reliably informed, the lamb is in fact the Ulster Lamb and is doing the rounds of the Ulster player’s back gardens. The wee mutton is currently, I understand, residing in our no. 10’s back pastures, (that’s the no.10 with the flair!). What is not clear is if the wee lamb is being groomed as next year’s mascot and if it is, does this spell the end of the trail for Sparky. One does not anticipate a joint mascot as it would be a blow to a bear’s manhood to be seen leading a wee lamb round the pitch or vice versa.

Isaac who was originally thought to be keeping the lamb on a more permanent basis has emphatically denied he was fattening it up to be eaten with his last supper in an Ulster shirt. Indeed it is believed Isaac may have been tending the wee things injuries before passing it to his Ulster colleagues. It is heartening to see the Ulster players taking on this caring project though one wonders how some of them will manage to keep the lamb corralled given their apparent lack of defensive capability. One sidestep and the wee baa baa will be past them and out down the road to freedom.

All tweetness and light on freedom road

Freedom Road made a brief appearance as I recall it on twitter with a picture posted looking remarkably like a section of dual carriageway somewhere near Ballymoney and the accompanying blurb jubilantly claiming this was freedom! I believe it was ‘desperate’ Dan Touhy’s twitter I saw that little gem on, whilst I was browsing my way through the thoughts of chairman Botha. BJ has been laundering his thoughts in squeaky white fashion through the auspices of his twitter and I was heartened by the off pitch leadership he is showing.

Andrew Trimble tweeted to say it was an emotional day he was having, what with Ed, Tim and Issac all leaving. So that’s the golf cancelled BJ tweeted back. If BJ can transfer this kind of hard edged leadership on to the pitch next year then we will not have to worry whether Xavier bothers to turn up or not. One can imagine a player’s huddle on the pitch and Trimble claiming it was an emotional moment, having just dropped the ball. That’s extra buttermilk with your museli tomorrow morning then, responds BJ. In between post season wind downs and wind ups, the players have taken to the golf courses with Marshall giving Trimble a bit of a thrashing in the Castlereagh Hills. All over after 9 holes tweeted a clearly crestfallen Trimble. BJ meanwhile has tweeted to say he’s looking forward to some South African culture. With all due respect to this column’s adopted and favourite player I’m struggling to think of single aspect of SA that could be labelled culture. Answers on a postage stamp please.

Pre Season Optimo

Tales of animal husbandry, animal band aid and caring players is a heartening sign of the team bonding and maturing and gives me cause for optimism for next season. Alright the past season is barely finished and usually optimism builds round about late July, early August. Growing optimism in post season leaves plenty of free time for my bubble to burst early. Nevertheless several clouds are scuttling across an otherwise clear blue sky, with blue being the optimum colour of the moment following clear but unsubstantiated rumours surrounding the imminent transfer of Xavier Rush from the blue of Cardiff to the white of Ulster.

The rumours fuelled apparently in a chip shop, that most combustible of places, are growing in intensity with me having received a friend of a friend type piece of information which makes me think there is some truth in other tibits of information being peddled on the internet. Whilst not entirely washing away my post/pre season optimo it would nevertheless spell out a bad message about Ulster and how they are viewed by other teams where Rush to abandon relocation to the blue skies of Ulster. The message would be that Ulster can be messed about and subsequent negotiations with players, as was already signalled with the Boss fiasco, would be at the entire behest of players with agendas well beyond playing for the team of their choice. We have already seen some players using Ulster as a bargaining tool.

I have just heard that UR confirmed the Rush rumours of abandonment of Ulster blue sklies are untrue. I shall wait until I see him in an Ulster shirt trotting out at Ravenhill before my doubts are finally quelled. That is still the position after this afternoon’s game against Toulon where JW’s exit coincided with Toulon’s collapse.

As BJ Botha tweeted: Last session of the season today done! See all you Ulster supporters next season for a massive one!

TRIAL BY BJ’s THERMOMETER

Walking to Ravenhill last Friday evening in my shirtsleeves seemed to herald the sort of weather BJ Botha appears to crave. Standing in the shadow of the beer tent 10 minutes later and it was increasingly clear that I would have to wait a while longer for the spring warmth and grass enhancing sunshine.

BJ you will recall in an earlier blog complained in his first season of not receiving a healthy dose of vitamin D, in fact it’s a moot point he received any at all given the lashings of rain that were visited on the current saffies when they first arrived here.

Sun giving Vitamin D wasn’t the issue this time for BJ. Instead Andy Trimble’s alleged assertion that, things were rather humid in Edinburgh at an almighty 12 degrees caused BJ to almost choke on his mercury. One assumes Andy was talking weather and not rugby tactics or referee interpretation,

BJ’s obsession with temperature is rather endearingly old school and somewhat colonial as a kind of modern day version of those chaps in Africa rattling on about the heat. This time it’s BJ far from the African soil and sun and feeling the pinch. Nevertheless we expect to see the great man on these shores at the start of next season in time to welcome his good buddy Johann Muller. Will Johan suffer trial by BJ’s thermometer? Let’s hope Mr. Muller brings some sunshine in his back pocket and spreads a little radiant happiness round the hallowed ground with earth moving performances.

HUGO HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Some radiant happiness will be missing next season when the effervescent Isaac Boss or Hugo as he’s affectionately known, moves on to Dublin.

Isaac has a little lamb, its face is white as snow and everywhere that Isaac goes the lamb is sure to follow.

Well not quite as it appears that Isaac is reaching back to his Kiwi farming roots and practising animal husbandry by keeping a lamb in his back garden on behalf of Rory (Best I assume)! Having seen a pic of the lamb, penned in as it is, by railway sleepers and keeping a watching brief on Nagusa operating a rotivator I have to say things in the Boss kingdom are somewhat more the Shires and Lord of the Rings than County Down.

AN EVENING WITH THE ORIGINAL ONE

One found oneself in the company of the URSC Chairman, Mr. Kimble, standing self-consciously amongst the second barrier crew on Friday evening and dragooned into waving a very large flag that resembled a sail nicked from Ballyholme yacht club. As the match wore on some fans were leaving. It’s difficult to keep some people happy these days, they leave when we’re losing and go early when we’re winning. Nevertheless a small gap opened in the sea of spectators in front of us and a bright shiny galvanised object appeared as though it was the parting of the Red Sea.  For a moment Kimble peered at it in metallurgical awe, as if unable to believe his luck before lovingly stroking it.

“The second barrier, he purred as though having a metallic orgasm, “I haven’t seen it in three years”.

“Yes,” I said, rubbing my hands on a very cold piece of steel whilst trying desperately to share the chairman’s enthusiasm for a galvanised safety barrier.

Mr. Kimble was in revealing form, revelling in the warm glow of a new and amiable relationship twixt the URSC and Ulster rugby’s Chief Executive Herr Logler. Perestroika filled the air like wafting perfume, with the chairman revealing the unveiling of the URSC’s player of the year award at some dinner that the riff raff like moi can’t afford to attend.

Herr LOGLER WOULDN’T APPROVE

At a rally of the party faithful recently, Herr Logler, the new man at the head of Ulster Rugby declared that there would henceforth be no more noise made during the taking of penalty kicks at Ravenhill.

“The silence is deafening and definitely intimidating”, thundered Herr Logler to a deafening silence from the assembled throng. They were like kids who are told not to put their hands on a hot plate and experience an unpleasant sensation but do so anyway. So the Ravenhill faithful were particularly uncooperative on Friday as a prolonged buzzing noise that usually indicates a lack of attention in class permeated the night air when the kickers from both sides lined up kicks.

One was drawn into this underworld of inattention when the match drifted into prolonged tedium as Connaught, who had come with the intention of spoiling rather than positive rugby were extinguished and reduced to defensive mediocrity. Even as the players toiled on the field so I was caught up in a conversation on the history of Papillon. Cap’n Grumpy it turns out is a fan of the book and revealed the film as usual doesn’t stick strictly to the written version. Papillon became the subject of academic discussion when I casually mentioned that Simon Danielli replete with new crew cut and beard, looked like an extra from the film Papillon. Kimble was suitably aghast at this lack of attention and scolded volubly.

Herr Logler would not have approved!

THE STRANGE CASE OF THE INVISIBLE PROP

Sherlock himself would surely approve but were on earth has Tom Court gone?  Yes we all know he’s here but it looks like he’s Tom ‘Lucky Lucan’ Court as far as the Irish prop debate goes in the Irish media. The Heineken Semi finals had Irish Scrum Doctors almost everywhere reaching for their version of swine flu tablets to stem reversing Irish scrum fever. The wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst the Irish rugby writers as Munster, Leinster and Connaught scrums were stuck in reverse gear most of the weekend was palpable. Ironically as epitomised by one agin the head on Friday night, the Ulster scrum is in rude health, ably led by BJ Botha but assisted by Tom Court. Now even Mike Ross the 3^rd choice Leinster prop is being touted in the Irish press as going to New Zealand for the June tour.

TC though is the invisible man of Irish prop forwards, I’ve struggled to see his name mentioned and can’t find it written anywhere. Looks as though this June we will have to watch Cian ‘I’m a back row forward’ Healy and Tony ‘perma tan’ Buckley go through the motions of pretending to be props.

I recall the late Jim Davidson commenting on the arrival of Fijian prop Big Joe in a Heineken match in Bourgoin for Ulster.

“This man,” intoned Davidson at half time, “has been brought halfway round the world to scrummage!”  Clearly Joe was not doing what his CV had said it would and though it was a little unfair of JD given the bloke had come from sunny Fiji to sub zero Bourgoin, it nevertheless sums up the primary traditional role in rugby for a front row man – scrummaging!

BLAZERAMA, BLAZERDRAMA

My article on what the URSC have ever done for us in last week’s blog started a blaze of sorts when HRH RR decided to indulge in a little arson by putting torch to paper and demolishing entente cordiale with the URSC. The hire Brigade, in the shape of John E King, arrived and preceded to use rocket fuel to put the fire out. Enter stage left Gary Grousebeater with a mission to tell all and sundry that he didn’t start the blaze and promptly fell foul of Sheriff Dewi who give him a number 2 haircut and precipitated the withdrawal of GG from the FRU website. Just another day in the life of the FRU family.

PAN THE FAN

Fan in the spotlight this week is Glynncommando.

A couple of things you may or may not know about GC.

The name Glynncommando derives from: Glynn and Commando

Glynn – a suburb of Larne featuring a couple of cottages, a rugby club and a couple of very sharp bends.  (At least that’s how it looked the last time i passed through it!)

commando – As in going ‘commando’ with no underpants!  Or…

Commando – unit of special service brigade!

‘Commando’ or ‘commando’ which is it? – you decide!

ITALIAN TOUR GOES DUTCH!

The cycling season’s upon me and I’m glued to the screen, though I found the Italian version of the Le Tour De France coming live from Holland a rather odd experience except it would seem to have been a masterstroke on the part of the marking department given the crowds that the lined the route of the 3 stages.   It was though marred by spectacular peleton crashes and it’s a tribute to the physical and mental toughness of these professional cyclists that they get back on the bike and back into the race.  Highlights for me are the Columbia train which pedals into action near the finish to give their sprinters a boost to the line.

British sprint star Cavendish, whose season has been dogged by bad luck, continued poor form when having sprinted to the stage win in the tour of Romandie gave his critics the two fingers when he crossed the finish line, his team colours in full glare of the media spotlight.  Cavendish was fined, pulled out of the race and apologised profusely if belatedly.  He’s young, brash and confident and sometimes young stars have to grow up quickly in the media spotlight as some of our own rugby superstars have found out.

Only two changes have been made to the starting XV who gained victory over Edinburgh, at Murrayfield, last weekend. In the pack; Chris Henry replaces an injured Stephen Ferris as blind-side flanker.

In the backs; Ian Humphreys starts the match at out-half, with Niall O’Connor on the bench for the last match of the 2009/10 season.

Commenting on the fixture, Ulster Coach Brian McLaughlin said:

“We will be looking for a win first and foremost, that is the most important thing for us. We want to build on our performance against Edinburgh and achieve back to back wins to end the season on a high.

We have all talked about our disappointment this season, mainly that after the Bath game, we didn’t kick-on and achieve what we are capable of. But, we did have a smashing performance last weekend and want a strong positive win at Ravenhill, on Friday, to end the season for both ourselves and our supporters.

Connacht are coming here full of confidence and its Michael’s last game, so they will also be chasing the win. It will be a really tough game of rugby, and an exciting finale.”

Ulster: (15-9) Jamie Smith, Andrew Trimble, Darren Cave, Ian Whitten, Simon Danielli, Ian Humphreys, Paul Marshall. (1-8) Tom Court, Rory Best (Capt), BJ Botha, Ed O’Donoghue, Dan Tuohy, Chris Henry, Willie Faloon, Robbie Diack. (16-22) Andi Kyriacou, Bryan Young, Ryan Caldwell, TJ Anderson, Isaac Boss, Niall O’Connor, Timoci Nagusa

So there you have it, the last selection of the Boss era! As predicted Isaac and Jimmy are benched but surprisingly Mr Ed starts ahead of Caldwell which begs the question …

I would guess Paddy’s been wrapped in cotton wool to be sent down under next month so young Whitten gets another run out at inside centre and I do like to see him and Cave together. Has a nice balance in my opinion.

I’m also looking forward to seeing Henry, Faloon and Diack play together as I think this will be our most used back row next season and is certainly what we’ll be looking at in a year or two’s time when Ferris is in the south of France and Rush is in the knackers yard. Again I think it’s a lovely balance of skill, pace and brains, but they all need to butch up a bit and I guess that’s the skill that Mr Rush will be imparting during his brief stay.

The rest of the team is pretty much as expected though the Humphreys/O’Connor connundrum continues and will probably continue through next season till one of them finally settles down with the “new” scrum half. Let’s hope it’s not an extended courting period as they get to know each other!

Finally, all the best to Isaac, Ed and Jimmy with their new clubs.

Thanks for all the good times, and we’ll probably forget about the bad times soon enough.

I look forward to seeing you all back at Ravers!

There’s a fair bit of optimism already being generated as far as next season goes, the performances of Mr Xavier Rush for Cardiff Blues in the Amlin Cup being the main cause for this sprig of hope.

So excited are some posters that the sprig seems to have sprouted into a fully blown “shrub” in the case of Rooster and Scrum5 over on the UAFC! So impressive have been Mr Xavier’s farewell performances that he is already the first name on the team sheet for next season, and no doubt the first name on Rooster’s and Scrum5′s dance card at the next Armagh Young Farmers do!

It may have it’s negative connotations  but I actually think it’s good news that our ofter enforcer Johann Muller is taking an enforced rest after breaking his arm. No real need to worry as the plate in his arm, from last seasons break, stopped it breaking worse and he should arrive in Belfast in July fully repaired and rested and raring to go.

July should also be the time that we see big Stevie Ferris return to training, as someone had the good sense to bust his face in practice yesterday. I understand that his boyish good looks will not be spoiled and the big man should get a good rest now that he will be left out of Ireland’s ill fated antipodean adventures in June.

The incredibly handsome Chris Henry may be the one to benefit from 1F’s busted chops as the “Golden Child” may be travelling to New Zealand and Australia in his stead. Were it may have been “a tour too far” for Stevie it may be “the makings of the boy” in the case of Chris, though it may depend on what he’s surrounded with in what will surely be an experimental Irish back row. However I think a few clashes with McCaw and Elsom, and a few lessons in how to play the ref should hold him in good stead.

Anyway, Ulster have picked a panel of 29 for the game they cannot afford to lose (by more than 60 points) as follows:

Forwards: Tom Court, Bryan Young, BJ Botha, Declan Fitzpatrick, Nigel Brady, Rory Best, Andy Kyriacou, Ryan Caldwell, Neil McComb, Ed O’Donoghue, Dan Tuohy, Chris Henry, Stephen Ferris, Robbie Diack, TJ Anderson, Willie Faloon. Backs: Paul Marshall, Isaac Boss, Ian Humphreys, Niall O’Connor, Ian Whitten, Paddy Wallace, Darren Cave, Andrew Trimble, Simon Danielli, Jamie Smith, Nevin Spence, Timoci Nagusa, Tommy Seymour.Not available due to injury: Bryn Cunningham, Matt McCullough, Justin Fitzpatrick, Mark McCrea, Cillian Willis and David Pollock.

Any team selected should be fit to beat Connacht and I suppose what team the Management choose will depend on what statement they want to make to the players they have forced out this season. I suspect that Boss, O’Donoghue and Nagusa will spend considerable time on the bench only being brought on for a wee wave when the game is done and dusted. So here’s the team that I think Ulster will start, though not necessarily the team I would have selected.

Forwards: Court, Best, Botha, Caldwell, Tuohy, Henry, Faloon, Diack. Backs: Marshall, O’Connor, Danielli, Wallace, Cave, Trimble, Smith. Replacements: Brady, Fitzpatrick, O’Donoghue, Anderson, Boss, Spence, Nagusa. The match day 22 will be named on Thursday at 12 noon.

To purchase tickets click here or call 02890 493 222 Option 2 or visit the Ulster Rugby Ticket Office (Mon – Fri, 9am – 5pm, 4pm match night.)

Tickets are also available from Ulster Rugby ticket outlets province wide.

500 FREE Magners Pints for the first 500 supporters through the gates on Friday evening.
– Over 18’s only
– Only one voucher per supporter Enjoy Magners reasonably.

The Rise of the 3^rd Team

The east awakes, am I witnessing the rise of the 3^rd team? That is the question I am addressing following my attendance at the URSC’s AGM and the season ticket event where I heard Herr Logler outline his plans to be the best, a surefire cover word for world domination!

Most putsches are born in austere surroundings, like a back street Munich beer hall with a plan for supremacy written on the back of a Bavarian beer mat or a goods train way out on the Steppes.  For the rise of the 3^rd team it was the lowly auspices of Newforge country club and a stodgy panelled room full of creaks, groans and cranky air conditioning. Herr Logler’s world domination notes were written on the back of a folded A4 sheet nicked from the photocopier at headquarters.

The IT technology failed to fire but the team of Logler, Humpherler and Herr Glocks were undeterred as they addressed a small but determined band of supporters. This was repeated on Monday evening in the slightly plusher surroundings of the 3^rd team’s headquarters repleat with soft drinks preamble, press gangs and a slide presentation.

Herr Logler charted the proposed ascent of the 3^rd team and outlined how they would be led by the shock troops, a squad of young men featuring wodgey haircuts with names like Jamie and shaven headed blokes with odd looking tattoos called Ryan. They would be supported in the quest for world domination by every man women and child in the province and backed up by the white shirts of the supporters club.

At this point a youngish looking bloke stood up and sang ‘Springtime for Logler and rugby too,’ with everyone joining in the chorus. In outlining his plans Herr Logler indicated that the acceptable face of the 3^rd team’s supporters would be on show and that abuse of the ref’s would no longer be acceptable. The shock troops would be told to relax their shoulders in the vicinity of the referee so as not to intimidate him and for European games the 2^nd barrier crew would be sent behind the toilets so that the referee wouldn’t be turned against the 3^rd team when hearing ‘offside’ chants.

It was the turn of Herr Humphler to address the supporters and in the face of determined questioning he argued that back room staff resources did not need supplementing, citing statistics that proved in his view a minister for defence was unnecessary. Herr Humphler & Herr Glocks took questions from the floor whilst Herr Logler addressed the grand vision of his architect who would turn Ravensspiel into a 15K fortress for you the supporter and with your input, mainly addressing the requirements for more bratwurst vans, beer halls with dining facilities and additional WC’s for the women.

Herr Glocks outlined how the schools would provide the backbone for the senior shock troops though he added darkly that the education system would have to be reformed to allow more rugby coaches in the schools instead of women teachers.

The evening finished with an evangelical rendition of ‘Stand Up for The Ulstermen’ with everyone standing and Shane walking down the line between the assembled supporters saluting wildly. From such humble beginnings springs an unstoppable force…

Well Replied Shine!

On hearing our new Chief Executive’s first  name was Shane I immediately recalled a past cricket test match between England and Australia. Shane Warne was bowling and his acerbic Aussie wicket keeper could be heard over a nearby microphone maintaining a commentary on the bowling.

“Well plied Shine,” the keeper could be heard bawling in his somewhat strangled flinty tones and “awwww! bewooooty mite!”. Wednesday week ago at the AGM our Shine had just gotten into his stride on how well ranked Ulster were in Europe when he was bowled a bouncer by the Ancient Mariner.

“We’re 24^th ranked,” countered the Mariner as Shine on the receiving end, ducked and weaved before attempting a straight bat on it. Shine later acknowledged he would have to stand up for the Ulstermen and take such variable bowling from the supporters in his stride.  He did however repeat the 12^th ranked assertion on Monday evening at the season ticket event without so much as an underarm reply.

The Loss of Boss

(Friends of this column?), will recall Gillian’s unrequited affection for Cillian Willis which I documented last year.  It’s 2010 and Gillian is mentally preparing for the departure of her beloved I. Boss.  It should be made known to all and sundry in the Ulster rugby fraternity that I. Boss has been a great contributor to the much vaunted Newforge Taggers and that his input will be greatly missed on Sunday mornings when he moves on to, no doubt greater things, in D4.  For the record Gillian consoled Cillian recently on his broken wing and wished him a speedy recovery, though I understand she did not see fit to autograph the damaged appendage.

RR abandoning the common people?

I see the Raging Raven or Ragin’ Robin as one poster has bravely christened him, has taken to referring to himself in the 3^rd person as ‘RR’.  BP reckons there could be several explanations for this.  For example he may simply wish to save his lone typing finger by shortening his name to two characters. A more sinister explanation may be that RR has decided to rebrand himself as a HM (Her Majesty) or HRH (His Royal Highness) type figure and will henceforth demand to be called Regal Raven, Royal Raven or Righteous Raven.  I’m sure the great man will be on here like a shot to post that he has not abandoned the minions who hang on his every acerbic statement and Caldwell condemnation and that his love of the common people remains undiminished. The floor is yours RR!

Blazerama causes flood.

Last week the UAFC board had more leaks than the Titanic after hitting an iceberg. Blazerama was just the latest in a long line of alleged messageboard initiates just busting to say their piece on the state of Ulster Rugby in the wake of Matt ‘(I haven’t gone away you know)’ Williams rant on Setanta about UR’s administrative faults. Blazerama was somewhat more direct than most with allegatory type comments about UR’s blazers, those behind the scenes chaps who take the perks but not the brickbats apparently.

Cecil Watson was the biggest target in B’rama’s sights with an allegation about Cecil that cannot be proved or disproved. Cecil was a prominent figure at Malone when I played with the Cregagh Red Sox and for sure he was not the most popular figure in the club. Whether Cecil is guilty of shafting another committee member on the UR blazer train is another matter altogether and a dangerous accusation to make on the net however anonymous you are. As for Matt Williams on Setanta.  I wouldn’t have said it was a rant, probably more of an observation which had a catharitic effect for him after his terminated coaching spell up here.

I hear the sound of breaking glass!

Ulster’s bp win last weekend must have caused a few bottles of Magners to crack up at Magner’s League HQ as the victory reduced the impending showdown with Connaught from hurricane force to the mere whimper category. The broadcasters who had been licking their lips at the thought of showdowns at both ends of the table got their revenge by locating the match on a Friday evening, well before the top of table clashes featuring Munster, the O’s and the other big names in the League. Relief though permeated the season ticket air on Monday night, though McGlocks, ever the pragmatist, declared it wasn’t over yet or words to that effect. Going by that perhaps you should wait till 2 minutes to nine on Friday night to see whether Connaught can rise of the floor and post 100 plus points on Ulster before deciding to purchase your discounted season ticket at the auld house. As one poster on the UAFC pointed out, the way Ulster’s season has gone it’s no wonder he was a pessimist.

What has the URSC ever done for us?

Listening to Chairman Kimble go through the perfunctory business of the URSC Wednesday night week ago, one was reminded of the famous scene from Life of Brian where John Cleese was demanding to know what the Romans had ever done for them. I asked the question to myself at any rate, ‘what has the URSC done for the Ulster supporters?’

Ok they have organised away travel to a few matches. Alright apart from away travel, what else?

Ok they have organised a player of the season award. Alright apart from away travel and a player of the season award, what else?

OK, they have organised an end of season barbecue for the supporters.

Alright apart from away travel, a player of the season award and an end of season barbecue, what else?

OK they have given an Academy play a bursary each year.

Alright apart from away travel, a player of the season award, an end of season barbecue and an Academy player bursary, what else?

They have organised events involving the player’s during the season.

Alright apart from away travel, a player of the season award, an end of season barbecue, an Academy player bursary and events involving the player’s during the season, what else?

Stand Up?

Alright apart from away travel, a player of the season award, an end of season barbecue, an Academy player bursary, events involving the player’s during the season and Stand Up, what else…?

I would admit to having met Chairman Kimble in McDonalds just off a motorway last week and would admit to having discussed such heady issues as the kick off time for next Friday’s Connaught match. I would deny he bought me a double sausage and egg McMuffin meal or even a cup of coffee. I just came up with that list of URSC things they do, off the top of my head!!

As BJ Botha might say, ‘Gimme a break!’

The backs see Jamie Smith return as full back, with Simon Danielli moving to the wing. With Danielli back in position, Nevin Spence drops to the bench. Niall O’Connor starts at out half, with Ian Humphreys beginning the Magners clash as a replacement.

In the pack, a front row re-shuffle sees Captain Rory Best start as hooker, with BJ Both as tight head prop. Andy Kryicaou is named as a replacement, while Declan Fitzpatrick is rotated to the Ravens Team ahead of their British and Irish Cup semi final against Munster A, this Saturday at Thomond Park. Dan Tuohy is called up to the second row in place of Ryan Caldwell. A fully fit Stephen Ferris will start at No6, with Willie Faloon as open side flanker.

Commenting on the Magners League fixture, Ulster Coach Brian McLaughlin said:

“We are all very positive heading to face Edinburgh. We have played them quite a few times this season; the last time at Ravenhill we gained the points. In September, when we faced them in the league, we were narrowly defeated by 3 points. We had a really strong first half, but just couldn’t sustain it, and that’s been our problem over the last number of games, doing well early on, but just unable to sustain it until the final whistle.

The players are training hard, and working well together. Everyone knows what is expected of them. Yesterday the IRFU Defence Coach Les Kiss was up doing a lot of work with us, and our attack is solid.

So it is just a matter of going out at Murrayfield on Sunday with the attitude that we can gain the victory.

We have to be mentally and physically tough and make sure we don’t give away soft, cheap and easy points,”

Team: (15-9) Jamie Smith, Andrew Trimble, Darren Cave, Ian Whitten, Simon Danielli, Niall O’Connor, Paul Marshall. (1-8) Tom Court, Rory Best (Capt), BJ Botha, Ed O’Donoghue, Dan Tuohy, Stephen Ferris, Willie Faloon, Robbie Diack. (16-22) Andy Kyricaou, Bryan Young, Ryan Caldwell, TJ Anderson, Isaac Boss, Ian Humphreys, Nevin Spence

So there you go. The biggest surprises are no Chris Henry, with Rory Best returning as Captain, and no Paddy Wallace.

I’m a bit disappointed to see Marshall start ahead of Boss and I hope it’s not due to the Management Team trying to make a point. Marshall had a good enough game last time out but in my mind he’s not in the same league as the departing Isaac, having a tendency to take on too much himself. However I can see how his sniping type of play might take a bit of pressure off O’Connor trying to make a break.

The back row of Ferris, Faloon and Diack should be interesting and hopefully the young Hinch player has enough match play under his belt to make the same impact as he did at the start of the season.

Mystified to see no Paddy as there was no word of injuries in the build up. No matter how well young Whitten played the other night he does not have Paddy’s ability to get over the gain line with the ball still available. It may just be as simple as Ulster wanting to keep some key players back for what will, most probably, be and all or nothing match against Connacht in a fortnight’s time.

It’s not the starting XV I would have picked but I suppose it’s not that far off but I do think that the fact that Kyriacou, Boss, Henry and Wallace are not starting will limit our performance. Conversely though I think that Ulster may be more relaxed than Edinburgh given that the Scots are at home and pushing for a top four finish at the expense of their great rivals Glasgow. This might help, I’m sure Ulster are wagering everything on the match against Connacht, and they might just go out and have a good crack against the Scots, who don’t cope that well with unstructured play.

Given Edinburgh’s style of play I can see it all coming down to the line outs yet again so there’s a lot of pressure resting on, an out of form, Rory Best’s shoulders and this is the crucial call. Let’s hope he finds his darts because with Best captain I can’t see him being taken off unless injured or Ulster are well out of it.

Commenting of the clash, Coach Brian McLaughlin said:

“The seniors have been preparing well for this vital game against Edinburgh on Sunday. Our main problem has been that we have not been able to hold on for the victory in games we should have won. So we have focused on fitness levels and our set pieces.

“We are all very positive heading to face Edinburgh. We have played them quite a few times this season; the last time was at Ravenhill in Europe, where we gained the victory. We will be going to Murrayfield with the belief that we can win.

“Last time we played at Murrayfield we had smashing support behind us, and hopefully the fans will turn out once again as their support means so much, especially away from home.

The forwards see; Declan Fitzpatrick and Nigel Brady drop out of the senior squad, with Rory Best back from injury. Lock Neil McComb also receives a call up.

In the backs; Jonny Shiells and Tommy Seymour are not named in the senior squad for the Edinburgh clash, while Paddy Wallace makes a return from injury.

FORWARDS: Rory Best, Bryan Young, BJ Botha, Neil McComb, Andy Kyriacou, Ed O’Donoghue, Dan Tuohy, Ryan Caldwell, Chris Henry, Tom Court, Stephen Ferris, Robbie Diack, TJ Anderson, David Pollock. BACKS: Jamie Smith, Paul Marshall, Simon Danielli, Darren Cave, Ian Whitten, Nevin Spence, Ian Humphreys, Niall O’Connor, Isaac Boss, Willie Faloon, Andrew Trimble, Paddy Wallace.

The match day 22 will be named tomorrow at noon.

With Connacht winning last night it shouldn’t really matter what 22 McLaughlin puts out  as all of  the squad should be busting a gut in Murrayfield to ensure European survival and at times like this it is start with your best avaiable and see what happens.

So the best available, based on the last few games looks somenthing like;

(1 -15) Court, Kyriacou, Botha, O’Donoghue, Tuohy, Ferris, Henry, Diack, Boss, O’Connor, Danielli, Wallace, Cave, Trimble, Smith.(16 – 22) Best, Young, Anderson, Caldwell, Marshall, Whitten, Humphreys.

There you go I’m sure there are one or two of you who disagree with my selection so lets hear it!

Injuries have ruled out both Rory Best and Paddy Wallace from the trip to Glasgow. Nigel Brady has been named in the squad replacing Rory Best while Jamie Smith returns to the squad from injury.

Commenting on the Magners League clash, Ulster Coach Brian McLaughlin said:

We’re travelling to Glasgow this afternoon by boat as the airports are now closed and we’re about to have our Captain’s Run at lunchtime. We had a good review of Tuesday nights game against the Ospreys and we’ve got to look at our defence, we’re still suffering from inconsistency around our defence. For Andrew Trimble’s try our defence was magnificent and for Simon Danielli’s try that also came from a defensive turnover so we have to be more consistent in defence. Our set piece on Tuesday night was a lot more solid, we just have to stop giving away soft tries, Shane Williams’ try was a prime example and we gifted James Hook two tries under the posts so we must improve in this aspect of our play.

Glasgow are another quality side and we’re expecting a very tough game, it’s been a quick turnaround for us, physically we’re in good shape so now we just have to get the boys mentally right for this very important game.

The team and replacements are below:-

Ulster Rugby Team. (1-8) Tom Court, Andi Kyriacou, Declan Fitzpatrick, Ed O’Donoghue, Ryan Caldwell, Stephen Ferris, Chris Henry (Capt), Robbie Diack. (15-9) Simon Danielli, Andrew Trimble, Darren Cave, Ian Whitten, Nevin Spence, Ian Humphreys, Paul Marshall. (16-22) Nigel Brady, BJ Botha, Dan Tuohy, David Pollock, Isaac Boss, Niall O’Connor, Jamie Smith.

Well, it’s good to see Kyriacou get a start again at senior level, I’m sure he is raring to go and make amends for his disastrous line out display against Glasgow at Ravenhill, a display which unjustly saw him drop out of the reckoning until now.

It’s interesting that Kyri is returning with Caldwell also returning in the second row and this is a very risky call given they way the Warriors line out completely distroyed Caldwell in the air and with speed of thought last time out. Maybe it’s a canny selection and is being billed as a chance for redemption for both players as I know they have been stewing on that last appearance for some time. Lineouts will have the added interest of  Mr Ed up against his supposed repalcement Tim Barker for extra spice!

I also have my worries about the paring of Marshall and Humphreys. Both very unpredictable in attack and both light weight in defence so I really struggle to see why we’ve gone with these particular half back parings over the last two games. Boss/Humphreys and Marshall/O’Connor makes much more sense to me!

Good to see Nevan Spence starting, even though it is at the expense of the injured Wallace, I am looking forward to seeing how he copes at this level.

Really don’t know what way this one is going to go and I suspect it’s going to come down to the lineouts and the back row clashes. Both back rows are particlularly impressive and this should be a fantastic aspect of the game, but I reckon they’ll largely cancell each other out. So it looks as though whoever dominates the line out will take the match.

Ulster by 5 – over to you Kyri and Ryan!

Reports in the Irish Times and that hotbed of rugby U.TV are now stating that the utility back is on his way to Ravers.

At the time of writing the deal has yet to be completed but thanks to our friends over on sharksworld.co.za we managed to have a quick word with Ruan the other night and asked him about his proposed transfer to Ulster. (Or did we?)

 FRU: How far advanced are the talks?

RP: They are nearly complete. Mr David says he wants everything completed by next Wednesday as there’s no bloody way he’s going to the URSC AGM without a scrum half. When I heard this I told him I’d sign for another 500,000 Rand and he’s got a deal.

Mr David said something about the Fat Controller, he’s not gone you know, No.42 bus, back seat and brown envelope so it shouldn’t be a problem. I should sign in the next day or two.

FRU: Are you looking forward to living in Belfast?

RP: BJ tells me that Belfast is very like Durban, with gated communities, security fences and lots of special protection forces knocking around so I should feel right at home. He says that everyone is very friendly except someone who calls himself Red Hand Hero on some message board. Apparently he is a c**t, but everyone else is dead-on. (That’s BJ’s new words for great!)

Someone called Mr President Kimble says that me, BJ, Robbie and Johann can all use his beachfront Hacienda in Helen’s Bay to do some surfing and shark fishing so that will be dead-on!

FRU: Are you worried about missing out on the World Cup if you move to Belfast?

RP: BJ tells me that Ulster only play up until January and then they just mess around for a couple of months so getting away early shouldn’t be a problem.

He also mentioned something about Dr Dave, Lions Tour, Umhlanga Rocks, party photos and selection sorted so that’s dead-on as well!

FRU: You’ve played scrum half, out half and full back internationally, have Ulster indicated where they intend to play you should you move.

RP: Mr David said I’d be playing in all three positions, all at the same time, as it’s the only way they can afford me. In fact he said that me, BJ, Robbie and Johann are not to pass to any of the Ulster boys as they’ll only drop it, except for maybe someone called Paddy, we can pass to him, but definitely not to someone called Ryan!

FRU: Thanks for your time Ruan and we hope to see you in Belfast soon.

RP: Dead-on!

You can read the reaction of Sharks Fans to this news over on Sharksworld.co.za. Click here.

Commenting on the Magners League clash, Ulster Assistant Coach Neil Doak said:

With our last game against Cardiff providing a ten day window to recover and prepare for the Ospreys on Tuesday night, it has given us the opportunity to get a few bodies back on board. We have to see how things work out with regards to fitness, but the aim is to push to win all the remaining games. We have two games at home and two away left, so we have got to make sure we are ready to put in a performance, in what is sure to be a very physical challenge tomorrow night.

The Ospreys are on a mini-tour, they are out of the Heineken Cup, having narrowly lost to Biarritz on Saturday, so now they will be focused on getting a top four finish in the Magners. We are expecting a high quality side to take the field tomorrow and we have to be ready to make our home advantage count. If we can get a few early points on the board, then we can settle into the game and play a bit of rugby.

There are a number of changes in the pack. Bryan Young starts at loose head, in place of Declan Fitzpatrick. Dan Tuohy pulls on the No 5 Jersey, while Ryan Caldwell begins the match on the bench. Captain Chris Henry starts as open side flanker, with Robbie Diack at No8. In the backs; Paddy Wallace starts at full back, in place of Jamie Smith, with Ian Whitten partnering Darren Cave in the centre.

Ulster Team: (1-8) Bryan Young, Rory Best, BJ Botha, Ed O’Donoghue, Dan Tuohy, Stephen Ferris, Chris Henry (Capt), Robbie Diack. (15-9) Paddy Wallace, Andrew Trimble, Darren Cave, Ian Whitten, Simon Danielli, Niall O’Connor, Isaac Boss. (16-22) Andi Kyriacou, Tom Court, Ryan Caldwell, David Pollock, Paul Marshall, Ian Humphreys, Nevin Spence

Tickets are still available for Ulster v Ospreys and will be available to purchase on the gates tomorrow night.

So there you go - a few changes there.  Good to see Bryan Young start but  I still have my reservations over Rory’s full recovery. However if he and Ferris are fully fit then this pack wouldn’t be far off our strongest selection in my opinion. 

The backs are a different matter. Paddy is again suffering due to his versatility. I would have loved to have seen what sort of player he would have become if he had stuck to the centre all the way through his career and moving him to full back takes away some of the creative play from the midfield. I think this is a risky move given that Humps is not starting and it’s difficult to see where we’re going to make the linebreaks. However given that Smith and Nagusa aren’t in the squad I’m assuming they have’t recoverd from knocks so maybe the options are limited.

It therefore looks like we’re going to be taking the Ospreys on up front and this could be risky enough considering that the O’s are fielding their full strength side for this league match and are probably expecting to win this one and take the hit against Leinster at the weekend.

However, the Ulster pack do tend to up thier perform when they are playing what they regard as the “better” sides so as long as the Ulster pack take it too them they might just have a chance. If the pack don’t front up I can’t see it being anyting but an Ospreys win, and a comfortable one at that!

Ospreys: (15-9) Lee Byrne, Tommy Bowe, Sonny Parker, James Hook, Shane Williams, Dan Biggar, Mike Phillips. (1-8) Ryan Bevington, Huw Bennett, Ian Gough, Jonathan Thomas, Jerry Collins, Marty Holah, Ryan Jones (Capt). (16-22) Ed Shervington, Paul James, Alun Wyn Jones, Filo Tiatia, Jamie Nutbrown, Andrew Bishop, Nikki Walker

Commenting on the Magners League clash, Coach Brian McLaughlin said:

Last week against Cardiff we simply weren’t good enough. We made a strong start, but went on to give away to many soft points. It was very disappointing because we know we can win these games.

Losing at Ravenhill is not something that is taken lightly. Playing in-front of your home crowd means so much to each player and each coach, so we all know what is required of us come Tuesday.
It will be a very tough game for us, but we have to make sure we’re in their face and don’t let them play. We will not gift Ospreys such easy scores.

We have to make sure we are up for the game, we have to compete and we have to make sure we beat them at Ravenhill. We have to go to town with them up-front and show that we are more than capable of dealing with them.

We all know not to under estimate them. Ospreys are a dangerous side, who can and do compete at the highest level, so we need to ensure we give them nothing to play with.

There are two additions from the Ulster squad that faced Cardiff Blues on 3rd April. Prop Tom Court returns to the squad from injury, and winger Nevin Spence is an addition to the backs. Paddy McAllister drops out of the squad.

Forwards: Declan Fitzpatrick, Bryan Young, Tom Court, BJ Botha, Nigel Brady, Andi Kyriacou, Ed O’Donoghue, Dan Tuohy, Ryan Caldwell, Chris Henry, Tom Court, Stephen Ferris, Robbie Diack, TJ Anderson, David Pollock, Rory Best. Backs: Jamie Smith, Paul Marshall, Simon Danielli, Darren Cave, Ian Whitten, Timoci Nagusa, Ian Humphreys, Niall O’Connor, Isaac Boss, Paddy Wallace, Andrew Trimble, Michael Heaney, Jonny Shiells, Tommy Seymour, Nevin Spence.

Not available due to injury: Mark McCrea, Bryn Cunningham, Adam Macklin, Ian Porter, Cillian Willis, Matt McCullough, Justin Fitzpatrick.

Tickets are still available for Ulster v Ospreys. Tickets purchased for the two postponed games are valid for Tuesday night.

So there you go. Don’t really want to re-hash the same old guff week after week so suffice to say that the forwards have to front up for the full 80 minutes. Not so much to win this one, which they should do comfortably, but more importantly to get a bit of confidence back and try to finish off the season on a bit of a roll.

Court should make his way back into the front row and I’d put Best on the bench as he looked absolutely knackered against Cardiff, I’d go with Ed and Tuohy in the second and I’d still opt to bench Ferris for this one as the big man needs a break with his niggling injuries. Hugely impressive Diack to start at eight with Henry covering 6 and Pollock at 7.

Much as I admire the maligned O’Connor I’d go with Humph as Ulster should be able to run wild against what is expected to be a second string Ospreys and with Smith returning the rest of the backs pick themselves.

The FRU Select is therefore as follows:

(1 – 15) Court, Kyriacou, Botha, O’Donoghue, Tuohy, Henry, Pollock, Diack, Boss, Humphreys, Danielli, Wallace, Cave, Trimble, Smith. (22 – 16) Best, Young, Caldwell, Ferris, Marshall, Seymour, Whitten.

Due to popular demand I’ve also put up a Man of the Match Poll for the Ulster v Cardiff match. You can get your vote in up until Tuesday night.

In the back’s Isaac Boss returns as scrum half, with Paul Marshall starting the match on the bench.

The pack see’s Declan Fitzpatrick replace an injured Tom Court at loose head. Ed O’Donoghue starts at No 4, with Dan Tuohy moving to the replacements.

Chris Henry will again captain the team.

Commenting on the Magners League clash, Ulster Coach Brian McLaughlin said:

Saturday night is going to be a really big game for us. It is one that we have got to turn up to, get our act together and play in front of our own fans at Ravenhill, to show them exactly what we are capable off.

Training has gone very well this week, despite the weather. We have been fortunate to get the use of the indoor facility at the Sports Institute of Northern Ireland at Jordanstown, so our sessions have be very productive.

We are really looking forward to the weekend because in the last two games we have not done ourselves justice; we have had disappointing displays against the Scarlets and Cardiff. We just want to get back to Ravenhill and play the way we can play, and play for our fans.

Ulster: (15-9) Jamie Smith, Andrew Trimble, Darren Cave, Paddy Wallace, Simon Danielli, Niall O’Connor Isaac Boss. (1-8) Declan Fitzpatrick, Rory Best, BJ Botha, Ed O’Donoghue, Ryan Caldwell, Stephen Ferris, David Pollock, Chris Henry. (16-22) Andi Kyriacou, Bryan Young, Dan Tuohy, Robbie Diack, Paul Marshall, Ian Whitten, Timoci Nagusa

Tickets are still available for Ulster v Cardiff Blues.
To purchase tickets for Ulster v Cardiff Blues, 3rd April, KO 7.30pm click here, or call the Ticket Line on 028 90 493 222 Option 2 or visit the Ticket Office at Ravenhill (Mon-Fri, 9am – 5pm.) Tickets are also available from Ulster Rugby ticket outlets province wide.

Bit of a mixed bag in selection there. Looking at the backs, they are about as attacking as they could get with the one exception of O’Connor at out half instead of my preference of Humphreys.

In truth it’s six of one half a dozen of another as far as these two are concerned. You get a bigger boot, better defence and a sublime pass with O’Connor and with Humphreys you get a quicker thinking player capable of exploiting broken play. I would have went with Humph as I don’t think we’re going to dominate up front.

Front row sees Decky as opposed to Young which is fair enough. Both have had a good enough season and I had Decky on the bench for his versatility.

I honestly would have benched Rory as I think he’s been brought back too quickly by Ireland and Ulster and I think his game time should have been managed better. While adrenalin may have got him through his first few appearances in the green shirt,  I still don’t think he’s 100% match fit. The benefit of bringing on someone around the 60 minute mark with his experience and match reading ability shouldn’t be underestimated and I think he could have got Ulster out of a hole if required.

O’Donoghue and Tuohy have been far and away our best second row combination and I fail to see why this pairing have been broken up after only one poor performance against Glasgow, especially considering the subsequent displays. While Caldwell was unlucky to get carded last time out, he is still an enigma. One hundred percent effort but unfortunately just too clumsy in thought and deed.

I would always have Diack as my No. 8. I think he has fantastic hands and I would have benched Ferris (again not 100% in my opinion and a fantastic asset to bring on) and moved Henry to 6, but there you go.

Having said all that I think Ulster will shade it, but it will be tight.