Mutual Self Congratulations
All Round
Monday 1 May 2006.
The FRU are pleased to announce that five smug gits
managed to run the Belfast Marathon in 4 hours 28 minutes despite
being held back over the first two legs by a wannabe reporter Richard
Mulligan.
The Original Kimble was particularly upset after failing to break
his personal best of 1 hour 30 minutes for his six mile stretch.
A distraught Kimble stated after the event.
"I was well on schedule for 12 minute miles but that
Richard Mulligan chap recognised me as one of SCOOP's leading
journalists and he kept pulling me back and asking me to help
him get on the journalist ladder. Thank goodness we had Dewi and
the Cap'n to make up time at the end."
Luckily enough Wee Kimble put in a burst of pace
which managed to shake off the clinging Mulligan. His 6.5
miles in 41 minutes (yes it's true) caught team mate Dewi
unawares and somewhat spoilt Dewi's pre-run routine.
"I'd just been phoned by Kimble that he had just handed
over to Wee Kimble so I thought that I had time for a pie as it
would take him at least an hour and a half. No sooner had I got
the pie warmed up than who should appear but Wee Kimble telling
me it was my turn to run. I'll never know what happened to that
pie. It wasn't there when I went back three hours later - that
sort of spoiled my day."
Having been put back into the lead by Wee Kimble and Dewi the Cap'n
was able to trot/walk the last leg to finish in 1162
place

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Letters to the Editor
Dear Sir,
I cannot object too strongly about both the tone and content of
Dewi’s training diary. Tactless is too mild a word to describe
the insult that this is to all those dedicated athletes who gave
up much of their time to train for this event and to raise money
for local charity.
It clearly seeks to rubbish those who turned up and actually took
part. I know of one young man who, inspired by the dedication so
clearly demonstrated in the training diaries of the Cap’n
and Kimble, went out there and ran for Ulster. I am extremely disappointed
to say that he won’t be running next year as a result of this
latest spineless snipe at those who put sacrifice before pleasure.
Believe you me; I know what it means to run for one’s life!
Shame on you!
Yours etc,
The Gingerbread Man
Dear Sir,
I wish to complain about the recent letter of complaint in respect
of the Marathon Diaries. It is clear to anybody who follows the
informed debates on the UAFC MB that this letter is little more
than a cheap shot at those who strive to uphold the standards of
honest and unbiased reporting. Indeed if the attempt at plagiarism
were not so crude I could have made an educated guess as to who
wrote it. But then I am not given to speculation or innuendo, unlike
most of the tossers on this rag!
Yours faithfully,
Young Balltrice
Sir,
I don't wish to complain about the original complaint, but I am
complaining about the complaint about the complaint. (I think)
A blind man in a dark night on a galloping horse could see it was
thongeu and checkmate!
Yours,
Bart A.
Meus
Sir,
I too would like to complain about the "Training Diaries".
I am extremely disappointed with the report on the S14 Night, though
presented as a personal view it is unbalanced to say the least and
the person that wrote it has presented an article that has a distinct
slant against anyone who was prepared to attend and enter into debate
over this fine competeion, something that normally happens at these
sort of nights.
The opening comment is a disgrace, "For those of you who were
unable to attend this year's S14 Night, or actually decided against
going, you have no idea what a lucky escape you had." The subsequent
tone and content seeks to rubbish those members who turned up and
actually took an interest in how the S14 is being run
Yours,
Disgusted of Cherryvalley!
Dear Editor
I too would like to offer my support with the complaint about the
S14 night and although the report was presented as a personal view
it was indeed unbalanced and slanted towards one opinion.
The opening comment was indeed a dig at those unable to attend
and the tone and content does indeed set out to rubbish any member
unable to attend what was otherwise a fine evening.
Yours faithfully
Disgruntled of BT20 4R US
Dear Editor
I too would like to complain about the nature of the reporting
from the S14 evening, which clearly set out to offend in an unbalanced
and slanted manner. Despite being a personal view of one person
I would question whether they were even there at the event.
The opening comment was nothing more than a swipe at those unable
to attend and the tone and content did indeed set out to rubbish
any member unable to attend what was otherwise a fine evening.
Yours faithfully
Dissatisfied of BT23 8P8
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Ulster Have Game
Shock.
The Ulster Rugby Entertainments Manager made the shock
announcement that Ulster Rugby were going to open Ravenhill to actually
play a game of Rugby this Friday night.
So after nearly three weeks without a home game let's
hear what some of the message board regulars have to say!
groovychloe
craftynick
Dead Ball
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INTISTT
UPDATE
A few bonus points being won this weekend,
and one or two controversial predictions.
Firstly, Dead Ball - stick to running
your own predictions league and leave Stewi and I to run ours. If
Tighty's one minute late, we'll deal with it, not you. I didn't
see you mouthing off in the same way when CT posted over two hours
late! Also, if your going to plagiarise Grumpy's predictions,
don't make it so obvious by using the same colour of font
and exactly the same style. As someone else might
have mentioned recently, using a wee emoticon beside it, doesn't
make it funny. And as another wise man once said, "plagiarism's
the same as theft, you know!" By nicking Grumps' predictions
you got them all right - I'm going to be very lenient on you (again)
and allow them, but you ain't gettin' the bonus point for being
a very naughty boy! YELLOW CARD
- the season's nearly over and if I have to chastise you again,
you'll be put in the naughty chair and plugged in ........... I
mean, disqualified.
Secondly, CT - a few minutes,
or even longer I can ignore (as I've done for you in the
past and have done this weekend for Tighty), but predictions
over two hours late and after matches have started
is pushing it a bit. You're making a bit of a habit of this old
bean. I'm afraid I cannot allow Friday night's to stand, but am
happy to accept your winners from Saturday.

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